Of awkward interactions (and backward first impressions)
by maiemarr
Summary: Octavia has a massive crush on Clarke Griffin. THE Clarke Griffin, star of Dropship, amazing actress with a seemingly perfect life. Alexandria Blake, however, couldn't care less. Until... OR That Clexa Starstruck!AU.
1. My sister is a firecracker

**Disclaimer: **These characters are owned by CW (The 100); The story is heavily inspired by the Disney Movie: Starstruck (2010); Story and Chapter Title comes from: Origin Story by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay. AKA I own nothing. But I hope this makes you smile as much as it makes me nervous writing it.

**A/N: **This is me attempting to write after 10 years of nothingness. Please bear with me! And if you need to chat, I am available in Tumblr (misstopak) and Skype (dinmarielee). :) Cissa, Stela, Chan, Gina, Dani, Amb and Z, you guys keep me going. I am eternally grateful for that.

* * *

**Wednesday, December 17**

Laundry nights were usually Saturday nights. But this Wednesday, Alexandria Blake figured she would finish the task before the night is over. She needed it done so she could finish packing for their trip to LA. She and her sister, Octavia, was to be shipped to LA where they would be in the company of their eldest, Bellamy - whilst their parents roam around the glorious streets in all of Europe for almost three weeks. She was upset about it at first, considering how much she's dreamed of going around Europe as well. But times were hard, and she's happy her parents are able to experience such in their lifetime. A bonus is seeing her bestfriend again, Anya, who left Michigan as soon as she graduated last March. Anya lives with Bellamy and another housemate named Raven.

She was almost done now, ironing the last shirt from the bunch. Her hair was let down, wild brown curls that almost hid her face. She hums to herself, a random tune, whilst pressing the hot iron on the fabric of a white button-up blouse. Her long fingers carefully folding the article and putting it on top of a neatly done pile. She turns down the iron and pulls the plug, setting it aside to cool. She carefully sets the pile into an empty basket, for easier transport, before bringing the clothes to the living room.

"Mom says we should pack." She says to the girl on the couch, placing the basket beside her.

"In a minute." The girl responded, eyes glued to the television screen. Her legs were crossed, a pillow tucked on her stomach. By the looks of it, the girl did not plan on moving any time soon. Lexa glances up at the watch on the wall. 7:00 PM. They have an hour left before their mom returns and while Aurora Blake wasn't very strict, she was also someone Lexa didn't want to disappoint.

"Octavia." The older girl warns, returning her gaze to the girl on the couch who hasn't made any attempt to pack, or move.

"Yes, Lexa. In a minute, I promise." Octavia pleads, her eyes not leaving the screen.

Lexa sighs, crosses her arms and stands in front of the girl. Octavia looks up at her with wide eyes, her hands reaching towards the other girl to push her away. Lexa manages to evade all her attempts bringing a small smile to her lips. She loved teasing the younger girl a lot.

"Mom says we should be done packing when she gets back," She says, as soon as Octavia stops pushing her away. "We have around an hour."

Octavia clasps her hands together and gives her the best puppy dog eyes she could do. "Please, sis. We have 3 days before we leave! Those bags aren't leaving without us. I'll do the packing at the same time as watching. I can! I'll choose now and pack them later. See?" Octavia grabs some of the clothes from the basket carelessly, causing some of the clothes to fall from their neat folds. Lexa slaps her hand away. She had to agree, however, 3 days was a lot of time - she figures she should still finish packing tonight.

"Ow?" The girl snaps, rubbing the back of her palm, giving Lexa a glare. Lexa gives out a small chuckle and reaches out for her cheeks, pinching it. "I just ironed those! Take them out one at time. Put what you will bring to one pile, and those you won't bring to another." She tells the younger girl before letting go of her cheeks. Octavia rubs her cheeks and glares at Lexa, brown eyes reflecting Lexa's green ones back.

Lexa has been with the Blakes as long as she remembers. She has been a Blake for as long as she remembers. Her green eyes, overall built and complexion are testament to how she never fully is.

/

_She found out in 2nd Grade. She found out like she wasn't ever supposed to. But she always knew. "You were three when we found you." She remembers Daniel Blake say, his eyes pained by the memory. "You were one of the 5 survivors from a plane that crashed on that old field, Lexa. We only had that necklace to know your name. I found you crying out for your mother. And we tried to find your family..." His voice trailed._

_"I'm sorry." It was barely a whisper._

_Her fingers finds her pendant, kept in place by a thin silver chain. The necklace never leaves her neck. The pendant is a simple metal strip with her name daintily engraved. Alexandria. Aurora Blake rubs her husband's shoulders, comforting him. They knew this day would come eventually._

_"We're your family now, okay? Always and forever." She says is as if she wants Lexa to be convinced. As if she needed to be convinced. "We love you, honey. Okay?" She adds, her voice soft and filled with love. Lexa nods in response, she believes them, she loves them too. She always knew, of course, and there were moments when she still feels empty - incomplete. She loves them, too._

_She hopes it wasn't an insult to feel incomplete. But she doesn't know how to say it - so she doesn't say anything._

/

She clutches the pendant by impulse, something she does when she's thinking - or when she suddenly thought of something sad or stressful. It's a security blanket of some sort. Octavia's face automatically softens, she asks her arms reaching out to Lexa, "Hey. You okay in there?"

Lexa takes a deep breath before nodding, "Yeah. I am." She waves her down, stopping the younger girl's attempt to move from her place at the couch. Octavia gives her a bright smile and returns to pushing her away. "Good. Now move!"

Lexa rolls her eyes but moves aside, sitting on the other side of the couch - the basket between them. She sets her own clothes aside as careful as she did earlier, limiting the creases on her newly ironed clothes. Octavia gives out an excited squeal, surprising Lexa a bit, as soon as Clarke Griffin's face is in the frame.

Clarke Griffin is an actress, soft blonde curls. Her eyes an obvious blue. She recently debuted with a leading role to a Romance Action film Dropship. She's had a few minor roles prior but none quite as big as this. Lexa denies reading Clarke's filmography. She will continue to deny it to her dying breath. She finds that Clarke's ability to balance her character's ruthlessness and softness in Dropship to be amazingly done. She also finds it impressive that Clarke was somehow able to show these characteristics through her eyes, something some actors seem to lack. (For someone who didn't care, Lexa notices Clarke's eyes too much.) She makes it look easy - acting. She make it look natural. Real. And when Finn kisses Clarke in that final scene, she wanted to gag. Lexa also denies this of course.

/

_Lexa tried to hide her want to gag. She reckons her expression was a dead giveaway, again, given Octavia's sudden outburst. They have just finished watching Dropship for the third time - Octavia's insistence, of course. "OKAY. What is the big deal? The ending is perfect!" Octavia protested, feeling the need to defend the film to her sister._

_"This is the third time we're watching this. I don't get it."_

_"But it's perfect!"_

_"You say this every time. And I still don't get it." Lexa scoffed, crossing her arms. "I don't see how this is necessary."_

_"And you look like you want to gag every time this movie ends. It's perfect, Skye totally deserves that moment. She's been through so much and-"_

_"I never said she didn't deserve it."_

_"So what is the problem?" The younger girl wailed, tugging on Lexa's arm as if it would convince her._

_"It's just too... straight, O." Lexa answered with a shrug, hoping the answer saves her from Octavia's attempt to make her watch the blasted movie again. She doesn't say it makes her feel fire at the bottom of her stomach. She doesn't say it makes her feel like she's been hit by a bus. She doesn't care._

_Octavia narrows her eyes, "This isn't over."_

/

The feature starts. Clarke Griffin was dressed so casually that she looked almost ordinary. The smile on her face was wide. It should be illegal to have such a blinding smile._ "So Clarke, Dropship has had such overwhelming support. How does that feel for you?"_

"She is such a goddess." She hears Octavia sigh beside her.

"Are you sure you aren't gay, O?" She murmurs with a soft chuckle escaping her lips. But the girl wasn't paying attention to anything else. Lexa knew this dream state of hers takes a few minutes to set in, it's happened before. She didn't know anyone could fangirl so hard but Octavia was a living testament.

_"The movie was great. Playing Skye Matthews is a challenge because I've never been in the situations she's been in. She has that rawness and strength to her. I'm not as brave as she is, I don't think. And that accent! I loved playing her. It was different, for sure. It was nice."_

"OH MY GOD!" Lexa jumps on her seat, she wasn't expecting the younger girl to speak. She looks over to the girl with a puzzled expression, wondering if the younger one was out of her trance so early. Octavia was still focused on the television, of course. She has officially reached a different level of her trance - that level with the monologues.

"What if I meet her? What do I wear? What do I say?" The girl says with wide eyes, her palms to her cheeks. "Oh no."

"You don-" Lexa starts, refusing to believe that Octavia was serious in her mini panic attack. She was immediately shushed as the girl turns back to the TV, remote in hand, raising the volume.

_"I really want to thank my fans. Being here is such an honor. I wouldn't be here without them. I'm really overwhelmed by the love they give me and I am very grateful."_

Octavia gives out another sigh, a wide smile plastered across her face. "She is so dreamy. THE Clarke Griffin lives in LA. We're going to LA. What if she wants to meet me?"

"Why would she want that?" Lexa asks her, eyebrows raised, snapping her out of her trance. Octavia gapes at her as if it was the most obvious thing. And Octavia definitely believed so.

"I am her number 1 fan! I am the official president of Skye Crew." Octavia says, full of pride and confidence. "Trust me, she wants to meet me."

It is official, Lexa says to herself, finally convinced that Octavia has gone mad. "That doesn't make sense, O."

Octavia frowns at her. The girl was about to throw the pillow from her lap into Lexa's direction when her gaze moved behind Lexa. Her frown was easily replaced by a smile. Lexa looks up to see their mom behind her. She gives her a wide smile and the older woman kisses her forehead. Octavia huffs loudly, pretending to be jealous. Lexa rolls her eyes as their mom moves towards Octavia, kissing her cheek - quickly rewarded by a toothy grin from the young one. Lexa scoffs, "You'd think for someone who says she doesn't want to be babied…"

"How's packing going? All set?" Aurora asks them, eyeing Lexa, hoping to stop them from a potentially immature squabble.

"Can't she stay here?" Lexa answers immediately, pointing at Octavia - remembering their earlier interaction. "I'm embarrassed and we haven't even left."

"Why me! Why can't you stay here instead?" Octavia says in protest.

"I'm going for Anya. You however…"

"I'm going for Bellamy!"

"Yeah, that's super important to you."

"Mom!" Octavia pleads for support. Lexa knew she was winning. Octavia bringing in their mother to mediate justifies this assumption. She was winning and she starts laughing.

"Lexa, be nice to your sister." Their mother says sternly, Lexa automatically returns to her pile of clothes, a small smile still playing on her lips. "And no, she's a minor and it's illegal."

Lexa watches Octavia's expression go from relief to horrified. She bites her lower lip to keep herself from laughing.

"You aren't seriously considering leaving me here? Right?" Octavia says, jumping off the couch to tug at their mother's sleeve. The older woman just laughs, shaking her head a little bit. She clears her throat, "We leave in 3 days, honey. Just finish packing."

Octavia gives out another huff but does as she was told. She sticks out her tongue when she finds Lexa following her with her eyes.

They fall into comfortable silence while packing. Lexa rolls her eyes at Octavia being a sloppy packer - totally ignoring what she told the girl moments ago. "I'm not ironing your clothes again, O."

Octavia just sticks out her tongue again. "Don't judge me." She says. Lexa puts her hands up in surrender. "I'm not, I swear. I'm just saying."

Octavia sprints at the sudden sound of her phone ringing. A squeal was distinctly heard from the other end. "Breathe, Stella. I don't get it."

"No. I don't understand what you're saying, woman! Pipe down!" Octavia screams at her phone. She was obviously getting more frustrated by the minute. She gives up, removing the phone from her ear and screams at it, "I'm putting you on speaker!"

_"She posted a photo. Oh my god! Oh my god! You have to see it. It's in my tumblr, obviously. She is so hot."_

Lexa immediately figures out the cause of the commotion. She slips behind Octavia as the girl frantically scrolls through her tumblr in search of the newly-posted photo. It was of Clarke in a white tank top and a leather jacket. Her eyes easily emphasized by her make-up. She wears a smirk and Lexa gives everything she can to restrain herself from reacting. A moan escapes from Octavia's lips.

"You are so obsessed with this girl. Can you promise not to be creepy?" Lexa warns her. She didn't have a lot planned for the holidays aside from the usual Christmas traditions and binge watching TV shows with Anya. The idea of having to follow Octavia around while she followed Clarke Griffin around was enough to make her blood boil. It is creepy. It is an unnecessary waste of energy. (It isn't because she wanted her sister to leave the damn girl alone.)

"When was I creepy?" Octavia says, batting her eyelashes innocently at Lexa.

"Please. You like the poor girl's posts, photos, everything - all the time." She says, emphasizing on the last three words of that statement. "That's creepy, sis. She doesn't even know you exist."

"_Hey!_" The voice on the phone suddenly protested, obviously taking offense from the statement. Octavia gives a laugh, suddenly realizing she forgot about the girl on the other end of the line. "Sorry, Stel!" She says, putting the phone off speakers and placing it back to her ear. "Hey. No - no she doesn't mean that. No. I have to finish packing. I'll call you. Okay. Bye."

Lexa raises her eyebrow at the exchange wondering what is was she didn't mean, the girl on the other end may be even more delusional than her sister in this whole Clarke Griffin obsession.

Octavia cuts the call, looks for the perfect photo of Clarke Griffin and shoves her phone in front of Lexa. Lexa grabs her sister's hand to push the phone back to a reasonable distance. "I can't see anything that close, O."

"Tell me you don't find her attractive." Octavia challenges, her phone still in front of the other girl. This time, she was sure Lexa can see the photo.

Lexa takes a glance at the photo and quickly looks away, her ears with a hint of red. It was of Clarke in a red dress that hugs her body in all the right curves. Lexa clenches her jaw before whispering, "I can't do that."

Octavia prides herself in winning that one, beaming at her sister. She was looking at Lexa with eyes that screamed _'You think she's hot and you don't want to admit it'_. Lexa snaps, "She has a nice face. But she's too pretty. Too famous. Too overrated."

"Of course," Octavia nods in agreement, but the twinkle in her eyes suggests she was thinking otherwise. "Keep telling yourself that."

Lexa sighs, placing one pile of her clothes in her arms and bringing the items to her room. Her room was small in comparison to the others in the house. Bellamy once insisted that she take over his as he would be in LA for most of the year but she brushes the offer away. She has sofa bed, with a lamp at one side and an end table at the other. A closet near the entrance door and a set of drawers for other clothes. A shelf filled with books and a few tiny trinket she's kept. Beside it, a small desk with a laptop, a couple of college application forms filled out underneath, and a small lamp. Everything in her room was kept neat at all times - she found it was easier to keep track of where everything was when everything is in their place.

She pulls a gray hardside suitcase from under her bed and fills them with the clothes she separated from the others earlier. 5 button up shirts, 3 jerseys, 6 v-neck shirts, 3 random statement shirts, and a couple of oversize shirts for sleeping. A pair of black pants, 3 denim jeans, 1 dark skinny jeans (her favorite) a pair of denim shorts, and some sweats. 2 sweaters, a blazer, that black leather jacket, her favorite onesie. Socks, bras, underwear, a binder. She pauses for a while, wondering if she's packing too much or not enough. She counts the days they would be spending there. She grabs a couple of bonnets from her top drawer and a scarf - she doubts getting cold, she was a Michigan girl after all.

She goes to her closet, bringing out a translucent pack filled with little toiletries just enough for weeks. She carefully places the pack inside her suitcase. She also stuffs a pack of napkins, just in case. Content for now, she sighs and closes her suitcase, pulling towards the edge of her desk. She collects the rest of her clothes from the pile she left in the living room and carefully lays them inside the designated drawers. Sweaters, scarves, gloves on the top-most drawer. Underwear and sleepwear on the second. Shirts on the third and bottoms on the last. All button ups, dresses (which she never wears), jackets and shoes are placed inside her small closet (where a couple of sling bags and backpacks are also neatly stowed away).

She makes a last trip to the living room, fixing the pillows from the couch. She grabs the basket of Octavia's clothes, which she did separate in piles but didn't pack, and places them back into the basket. She tucks the basket under her arm and moves to check the locks on the door, satisfied that everything is in its place. She places the basket in front of Octavia's door and retreats to her room to sleep.


	2. I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

**Disclaimer: **These characters are owned by CW (The 100); The story is heavily inspired by the Disney Movie: Starstruck (2010); Story Title comes from: Origin Story by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay; Chapter Title comes from Mirror by Barlow Girl. AKA I own nothing. But I hope this makes you smile as much as it makes me nervous writing it.

**A/N: **This is me attempting to write after 10 years of nothingness. Please bear with me! And if you need to chat, I am available in Tumblr (misstopak) and Skype (dinmarielee). :) Cissa, Stela, Chan, Gina, Dani, Amb and Z, you guys keep me going. I am eternally grateful for that.

* * *

**Wednesday, December 17**

This is the third one today. It was the same thing over and over again. Red carpet. The first was outside the city's main cinema. Red railings. The second was in the middle of the mall, easily a common publicity stunt. 20 photographers or so. Screaming fans.

_**FLASH! Snap. Click. Snap. FLASH!**_

This is the third one today. He has his arms wrapped around her waist. He was leading both of them, him being slightly closer to the crowd. She doesn't mind, it was easier anyway. She was wearing a red halter dress that ends above her knee. He was in dark denims, also a plain white shirt and a black leather jacket. They posed together, they both knew they did it well.

Lincoln is a few feet away, eyes wandering around the crowd. He's wearing black coat and slack with a casual grey shirt underneath. He towers over Clarke despite being a few years older, he saved Clarke from a bar riot once and he's been beside her ever since.

"_Clarke, look here."_ The paparazzi dangerously closer and closer, the railings looking like they were about to fall. Lincoln immediately finds his way to Clarke's side, his face threatening the photographers to move further. A young one in front was flustered, he shuffles back, asking the ones around him to do the same. Clarke gives them a small smile.

"_This way, Finn!" _The requests continue. They seem more like commands by the minute. Lincoln returns to his distance, his eyes still to the crowd. "_Clarke!" "Give us a smile." "How about a wave!" "Finn, over here!" "Over here!" "This way!" "Now smile here!" "Give us a pose."_

Give. Clarke Griffin maintains a wide smile, her mouth almost obviously tense. She runs her tongue on her bottom lip hoping to relieve her lips of the numbing sensation before placing her smile back. She puts her palm to her waist and leans slightly to her side. It's a dance, she thinks. Every pose calculated, every smile accounted for.

They were outside of a local pub, one of the venues used for their film Dropship. Dropship is a sci-fi feature about a time of war between the aliens and the Earth, a war the Earth did not intend to start. Space marines Skye Matthews and Adam Harvey, among others, are being deployed to Sector 8 in hopes of finding an amulet said to be a bringer of peace. It was easily Clarke's biggest project to date. The crowd outside the pub was the biggest one. Signs and boards of "_Clarke, we love you!" "Finn you are amazing!" "Finnarke 4EVAR" "Finn 3 Clarke" "Skye Crew got your back, Clarke!" "We love you, Clarke!"_ scattered over them.

She fights the urge to caress her cheeks from hurting. Her jaw almost locked in place. She blinks and forces her eyes to smile.

"_Over here!" "How about a kiss?" "Yeah, give us a kiss."_

She laughs, sometimes she wonders if these people understood boundaries. And yet, she plants a chaste kiss to his cheek, earning slightly faint squeals and screams from the crowd behind the photographers. Finn smiles and she feels his fingers brush her jaw. She tenses as he lifts her chin, her lips catching his. She purses them, her only protest to the kiss, and pretends to smile into the kiss.

She rips herself away from him, batting her eyes to the cameras, fanning herself for the effect. She's met with louder squeals. She composes herself and allows herself to give a small laugh. She understands the role she plays. The reaction of the crowd makes or breaks what happens to her - their - careers. She understands that it isn't always about talent.

Clarke started acting roughly 3 years ago, in a movie her dad had directed. (Also the last project he had before he died from a heart attack.) It came as a shock to some that she hasn't stopped acting since, but Clarke felt more connected to her dad when she acts. Finn started when he was 6, being one of the leads in the Family TV Series "Bridges", as young Michael Ridge. The show ran for 12 seasons before airing their last episode. It was a good run, but Finn found himself challenged to establish himself as an actor apart from the character he was accustomed to playing; and one people were accustomed to seeing him play. He's had 4 movies since then, with roles varying - but never one close to Michael Ridge.

"You alright, Princess?" Finn asks beside her, she winces at the nickname - finding the patronizing endearment as anything but sweet.

"I am." She answers, "Just getting used to the fame thing, I guess. And I don't like you kissing me like that without warning."

Finn laughs, "Technically, you're not new to this, Princess. And they asked for it."

Technically, this was true. Jake Griffin was a god. He was a Director and Producer that had potential that matches Spielberg's. He directed 25 movies in his prime, his actors always emphasizing the mark he leaves. She has been on the spotlight with him as soon as he had her. Clarke was not always the actress she is now. Although she always shared in his passion for art, Clarke's art took in a different form - she paints.

"Finn, I hate that nickname. Stop. Please? And you know my dad was the one in the spotlight, not me." She says. "And I gave you a kiss. On the cheek."

"Chill. Don't be a baby about it. They liked it, so who cares."

"I do."

Finn tightens his grip around Clarke's waist. She knew this was not the time for arguments, not in front of the cameras anyway. She gives him a smile too sweet to be real and wraps her own arm around his waist. He uses his weight to drag her across the carpet, closer to the crowd. She stumbles but recovers just as quick. Not fair, she thinks. Finn was much stronger than she was.

She is thankful Lincoln chooses this moment to step beside her again. "Our time here is finished." He says plainly. Clarke gives him a nod and whispers to Finn's ear, eyeing the crowd. "We need to leave. Time's up."

Finn smiles when Clarke goes for his ear and pouts when she pulls away. "Do we have to?"

"We have that interview, Finn."

"But I love this crowd." He answers back, waving to a group of fans huddled by the railings. It was rewarded by squeals and dreamy sighs. Finn beams with pride. He did love the attention - this specific attention.

Clarke rolls her eyes again, tightening her hold on his waist possessively, and smiles in the attempt to be cute. "But you also love doing interviews."

"You're right. Let's go." He drags both of the to the end of the rails where Quint, Finn's driver and bodyguard was waiting in a black Tesla. Lincoln holds the door open for both of them and waits for them to settle before slipping into the passenger seat. "Thank you, Lincoln." Clarke tells him, receiving a nod in return.

"You shouldn't be too friendly with him." Finn whispers to her ear.

"He is my friend first, Finn."

"But he is your bodyguard. What would people say?"

"I don't care what people say, Finn. We've established this."

"Princess Rebel. Cute."

Clarke opens her mouth in protest, she was not a princess. She was anything but cute. And she wanted to make sure Finn remembers it this time. Instead, she closes her mouth, clenches her jaw and takes a deep breath. They don't talk for the rest of the 5-minute drive.

* * *

When they reach the studio, Clarke doesn't wait for Lincoln or Finn to get out of the car. But she gives Finn a small wave and walks to her room, with Lincoln in tow. He stays beside Clarke's door, as soon as they reach it, making no attempt to enter the room with or after Clarke. His place was outside her room to guard it.

"You'll be fine here?" Clarke asks with a sad smile.

"You ask this every time, Clarke." He says with a smile, "I'm fine. This is my job, you know?"

"This must bore you a lot though."

He shrugs at this, Clarke knows well enough that it's genuine. "I've had my moments. Besides, I'm guarding you. I'd give you my life, bodyguard or not."

"That's cheesy, Con."

"You would do the same for me, C."

She nods and smiles at this - a wide one this time. "Yeah, I would."

* * *

Chris and Marion were already waiting for her when she enters the room. The two were deep in the a conversation that they barely noticed her arrive.

"Hey," she says as she flashes them an apologetic smile.

Marion waves her off. "You're just in time," she says. She motions to a garment bag that hung loosely on a chair. "Get dressed. We need you ready in an hour."

"I know." Clarke nods, collecting her clothes. "Do you mind if I shower first?"

Chris laughs and answers, "We would prefer it." Marion slaps his shoulder but was unable to fight back a smile.

"Psh, you love me regardless." She smiles and shakes her head. Both Chris and Marion worked with her dad before they started working for her. They were practically family.

Marion flicks her hand, motioning towards the bathroom door. "You have 10 minutes." Clarke skips to the bathroom, and closes the door behind her.

She fixes the settings of the shower to her liking. She moans as soon as the warm comfortable water hit her skin. She hopes she has more than just 10 minutes and sighs as she opens a small packet of soap to use.

* * *

She pulls the dark skinny jeans up her thighs, tucking the white top in and zipping it close. She takes the blue jacket from the garment bag and folds it on her arm, deciding to wear it after she gets her makeup done.

"I'm finished." She says, walking out of the bathroom and into the chair in front of the vanity.

"Finally." Marion says, grabbing a small towel and the hair dryer to fix her hair.

"Hey! I wasn't that long." She says in mock protest.

"Right."

"Come on. Make me pretty." Both Marion and Chris laugh at the request but obliges to it. Chris allows Marion to work on Clarke's hair first. She has naturally wavy hair that made it easier to style into soft curls.

"Do you want your hair up or do I keep it down?" Marion asks before she continues to style her hair.

"I think I'd like to keep it down today, please." Clarke answers with a smile.

"Okay. Perfect."

* * *

There was a knock on the door, she hums to the person in front of her. She has her eyes closed, the tip of a brush delicately coloring it. The knock comes again. It doesn't wait for an answer before opening the door.

"Clarke, we're ready for you in ten." The voice said.

"Mhmm." She manages to respond, earning a 'tsk' from Chris.

"Don't move. Or hum, or whatever." He says. Clarke presumes he turn to whoever was at

the door when he said, "She will be ready in five."

She hears the door close and feels Chris pull away from her. "Do I open my eyes now?" She asks.

"Nope. But just a little bit more, okay? Don't move." He answers.

When she was finally allowed to open her eyes, she has gorgeous smokey eyes that makes her eyes pop and red lips that made pouting more fun. "I like the lips. Something new."

Chris nods, looking at his masterpiece from the mirror. "It suits you. I don't know why you don't color them red more often."

"I'm just more comfortable with the plain ones. You know me. Lip gloss is my go-to." Chris laughs at that. "Well, we definitely need to try different from now on."

"I'd like that."

A knock comes again. This time, Clarke opens the door. A girl shorter than she is greets her with a smile. Her ID and headset gives away her role. "Hi. I'm Jane, I am one of the floor personnel assisting the director, and I'll be accompanying you to the set."

"Hello, Jane. I'm Clarke." She says holding out her hand. Jane shakes it firmly and laughs. "I know who you are, Ms. Griffin."

"Please, just call me Clarke."

"Okay then, Clarke. Mr. Collins' up, he will be answering a few questions before you're introduced." Jane explains, she stops for a little bit as they enter the set. She brings Clarke to a covered side near the stage, she can see the crowd and a lot of lights. The stage had lounge chairs for the interviewer Diana James and two - presumably for Finn and her.

"Clarke is ready for you." Jane says to her mouthpiece of her headset. She looks to Clarke once she finishes, "It will be around 5 minutes more. Would you like some water, coffee or soda while you wait?"

"Water, please."

Jane nods and returns with a bottle that she hands over to Clarke who was watching Finn do his interview.

"_Dropship is huge, but it's different from your previous shows. How was the experience for you?"_

"_Well this is the first time I'm doing a film with so much special effects. It was interesting to shoot something in front of a lot of green screens and have see a different world come to life from it."_

"It must be nice working with him." Jane says beside her. "He is dreamy."

Clarke smiles at the girl but makes no comment about it. She puts the bottle to her lips and drinks a few gulps careful not to let the water drip. It wasn't until she tasted the water that she realized how thirsty she was.

"_You've been Michael for nearly 12 years, how did playing Adam differ?"_

"_I want to challenge myself with various roles and I think being Michael kind of stopped that from happening for some time because he's a normal, nice kid and all, he doesn't do a lot of the change thing."_

"_Given the chance, would you change this?"_

"_No, I'm glad I was able to play him for so long. It's opened a lot of opportunities for me. I don't regret having that opportunity for a long time."_

"_How did you like working with Clarke?"_

Clarke's eyes widen at the question, not expecting the question to be asked without her being on the stage.

"_Clarke is very easy on the eyes." He says, chuckling, "She's surprisingly good, and also very flexible which makes her really easy to work with. And what we got here, I think it's really special - to have such a strong connection with another person and then finding that with her. She makes it easy, our job. She made it very easy for me."_

"_Speaking of Clarke, she's also here with us today. Please welcome Clarke Griffin."_

She was stripped of the time to react when Jane tugs at her sleeve. "You're up. Relax, okay?"

She takes a deep breath and enters the room to the sound of whistles and squeals from the audience. She gives them a toothy grin and a wave as she passed by. She changed into fit black slacks that held her body perfectly, a simple white halter top and a gorgeous jacket over it. She sits on an empty lounge chair beside Finn's. He gives her a smile and grabs her hand. She doesn't shove it away and places a palm on top of his.

"So Clarke, Dropship has had such overwhelming support. How does that feel for you?"

"The movie was great. Playing Skye Matthews is a challenge because I've never been in the situations she's been in." She says beaming with pride. She loved talking about the movie. It was easily the best project she's done in her career. It was a bonus that she loved her character, Skye. "She has that rawness and strength to her. I'm not as brave as she is, I don't think. And that accent! I loved playing her. It was different, for sure. It was nice."

She gives Diana a cheeky grin and waits for her next question.

"You must feel honored working with Finn."

"Well, he certainly isn't hard on the eyes either." She says with a slightly bitter laugh, remembering the answer he said earlier. She fights the urge to seeth. It wasn't what was said that irked her. It was how it was said. "I do feel honored, actually. He's had so much more experience in the field - 12 years does that to you, I guess. He gives me a lot of tips in that department. I've always known the industry, but being the one under the spotlight is very different. It's a nice kind of different, I guess."

"Let's talk about the dynamic of your character. How did you respond to each others characters at first?"

Finn answers first, "I didn't know what I expected when I was reading the first parts. She's pretty smart and strong for a blonde girl, that Skye. But she was also kind of a bitch at first."

"She is not a bitch." Clarke purses her lips, and breathes through her nose. She answers back as calmly as she could, "Skye was very hostile towards Adam at first, as she is towards anyone else. Given her background with betrayal and death, it's reasonable for her not to warm up to people easily. She's strong of heart and very determined to just get this war over with. That was definitely not one of her priorities at the moment, you know?"

"But how did you react to Finn's character?"

"Finn's character was charming and genuinely friendly. But, for me, he was a bit insensitive to pursue with his advances when Skye wasn't comfortable at first. But it pulled through in the end, so."

"How did you prepare to play Skye? Did you have to lose weight?"

Clarke clicks her tongue with distaste but answers the question anyway. "I hardly think talking about my weight - or the loss of - is necessary. I did have to emotionally prepare myself because she comes with very heavy baggage and came from a dark past that I did not share with her. There was a lot of empathizing required. And I needed to immerse myself with a lot of sadness and pain to reach that point."

"Adam was a catalyst to her moving from that point to a more happy place." Finn adds, "He's the knight to her damsel."

"Please, she can save herself." Finn's hand tighten on hers, she returns the favor.

"Would you say Adam is your type?"

Clarke raises an eyebrow at the question, restraining herself from screaming. What's with these questions? As if it wasn't tense enough. She allows herself to breathe and calm down before she answers, "I don't think I have a type at all. It's different for everyone, I guess. I don't put too much thought in these things."

"Alright, that's all the time we have, Do you have anything to say to your fans?"

"I really want to thank my fans. Being here is such an honor. I wouldn't be here without them. I'm really overwhelmed by the love they give me and I am very grateful." Clarke says with a smile as she waves to the camera.

"You guys are awesome!" Finn says with a grin. He pulls both of them up and exits the stage with Clarke.

* * *

Once away from the public eye, Finn lightly shoves her shoulder.

"Okay. What the hell was that, Clarke?" He asks, his eyes full of disbelief.

"Your arrogance or that sexist interview. Which one?" Clarke was about to walk away when Finn grabs her wrist tightly.

"I'm having none of that attitude." He warns. "You need me, Princess. And I'm not putting up with this with you being a diva."

"I'm being a diva?!" Her hands balled into fists, she couldn't believe what she was hearing right now. "I won't apologize for defending my honor."

He pulls her closer to him, she tries to pull away but his grip was strong and it hurt to break free. He pulls her into a hug which surprises her. But he says, "What honor do you have when your career goes down the drain?"

He loosens his hold on her, but the shock disables Clarke from shoving him away. He meets her eyes again. "You need me, Princess."

"I hate you."

"Oh? Too bad everyone else loves me then."


	3. Rumor has it (She is a stranger)

**Disclaimer: **These characters are owned by CW (The 100); The story is heavily inspired by the Disney Movie: Starstruck (2010); Story Title comes from: Origin Story by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay; Chapter Title comes from Rumour Has It by Adele. AKA I own nothing.

**A/N:** I would like to thank my dear angel, Chan, for being my beta. You are amazing. And to Cissa, who never gets tired of going through different trains with me.

* * *

**Thursday, December 18**

It only takes the first period for Lexa to notice that one of her best friends was avoiding her.

"Costia!" She shouts towards the other girl who seemed to be in a deep conversation with two other girls. Costia, Anya and Lexa had walked through these halls together for a while. 10 years years with Anya; 4 years since Costia moved from Romania. It's been a year since Anya left and Costia and Lexa had been walking side by side every school day. Until today, that is. Something felt strange, but Lexa didn't want to think anything of it. _It's nothing_.

"Costia, wait!" She shouts again. She notices the girl tense, and Lexa knows she's heard her, but she doesn't make an effort to run after her. She walks to her class, eyebrows furrowed, wondering what went wrong today. Costia tells her everything. Told. She did. She shakes off her thoughts. _This is nothing_.

Lexa wasn't able to pay attention to class that day. Her fingers either drumming on the table, or playing with her pen, or finding herself fiddling with her hands. All she could think about was Costia. It takes until the fourth period for her to know for sure that the girl was avoiding her.

She sees her at the corner of the hall and makes a step towards her, Costia turns away just as fast and moving towards the other direction. They have that class together and Costia ended up being five minutes late. She doesn't sit on the empty chair next to Lexa. _This isn't nothing_.

* * *

Lexa grabs a tray and moves towards the cafeteria line. She sets her tray to the rail and looks at the food choices. Octavia catches up to her, setting her tray beside Lexa's.

"Hey sis!" She says with a smile.

"Hey," Lexa answers softly. She picks a fruit bowl, a chicken sandwich and a box of apple juice. She carefully places them to her tray and murmurs a thank you to the lunch lady in front of her. She doesn't start looking for an empty table until Octavia is done. Octavia finds one first, nudging Lexa on the side and tilting her head towards the table.

"So, what's bothering you?" Octavia asks; she knew just how to ask the right questions.

"Me?" Lexa asks, feigning innocence. It was a lame attempt, she was sure. But she wanted to try. She doesn't know where to start.

"No, me. Duh. Yes, you. Something's bothering you." Octavia raises an eyebrow in an attempt to be intimidating. It was working.

Lexa shifts uncomfortably, "No - it's nothing."

"Not nothing. You're never this quiet around me. You barely looked up from that tray. And you're not with Costia, which is new. So what's going on?" Octavia crosses her arms. Lexa sighs. She could talk about it now or later at home.

"She's avoiding me." She says, only allowing herself to fully believe it as she says it. Her face falls, she had tried to hope it wasn't true.

"Costia?" Octavia asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah." Lexa says, feeling the frustration build up inside her. "She's avoiding me." She presses fingers to her eyes and takes a deep breath trying to calm herself. Why was it so sudden? What did she do? Was it something she said?

Octavia wraps an arm around her, making her jump slightly by the sudden touch. Octavia's one-arm hug was firm and reassuring, Lexa gives her a thankful smile. "Hey." Octavia starts, "Maybe she's just busy, or around. Or something. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"Maybe." Lexa replies with a shrug, she isn't convinced, "Why would she avoid me?"

"I don't really know what's going on inside the head of that girlfriend of yours." Octavia comments.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Lexa exclaims, twisting her head to see if anyone heard. She lets out a sigh of relief when she finds no one remotely close.

"Ooh. Touchy. Okay then. I meant it as a friend that is a girl, though. Calm your tits."

Lexa doesn't say anything else. She doesn't say she sometimes wished Costia was. Or that someone was. She doesn't say she thinks she likes girls.

* * *

"Lex."

Lexa's head turns as soon as she hears it. She almost stumbles as she does. "Costia." She says, reaching towards the dark-skinned girl, enveloping her into a hug. She easily feels Costia tense at her touch. Lexa pulls away. She wants to apologize. _What do I apologize for?_

"You're avoiding me." Lexa says quietly, finding her voice. She still hopes that Costia would make up and excuse. She's thinking, _say it isn't true that you're avoiding me_. She watches as Costia bites her lower lip. Costia was nervous. _That can't be good_.

"Can we talk?" Costia says, "Somewhere more private, please."

"Yes, okay." Lexa nods, pulling her towards the field. She picks an empty spot, the openness of the area giving both of them the privacy the other girl requested for. They quickly fall into silence. It was neither comfortable nor comforting. Lexa grew confused at the heaviness of her heart. _This is not nothing_.

"Cos..." Lexa starts, unsure of how to start this talk - she wasn't even sure what it was about in the first place. She looks at her, eyebrows furrowed. She wants to hold her hand. She wants to hug her. She wants Costia to hug her. She wants Costia to say something to reassure her: _It's just been a bad day, you're still my best friend_.

"Are you gay?"

_No. Maybe. Yes. No. But definitely not straight._

Lexa's eyes widen in surprise, she didn't know what she expected to hear but it was certainly not that. She sputters, "Where? What?" It was absurd. It was impossible.

"There are rumors, Lexa." Lexa feels her palm curl into fists, irritation floods her like a tidal wave. She vows whoever was spreading rumors about her and make sure the person doesn't tell another about anyone.

"Answer the question." Costia demands. Lexa's eyes widens, she cannot confirm it. She doesn't know. She was only starting to explore what it was that she wanted - that she is. But she cannot deny it. _I'm losing you_.

"Where did you even hear-" Lexa pushes, she needs to know. She has to know. She hasn't explored this yet. It wasn't a no, it wasn't a yes. And she hated being rushed, she hated being pushed to answer questions she doesn't have the answer to. Yet. Costia was pushing her buttons.

"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, LEXA." Costia screams, making Lexa jump. If there was one thing she knew it was that Costia never raised her voice. She feels the urgency in her voice. She feels terrified. She feels defeated.

"I don't know! Okay?" She spats, "Yes? Maybe? I don't know. Why does this matter?"

"Because."

"Because? I don't know where this is coming from." Lexa was dragging each word, she was going to come out when she was ready - when she's figured it out. She didn't expect it to be like this at all. "Does it matter if I wasn't straight?"

"So you aren't?"

"Do you see what you're doing right now?" It was a whirlwind for Lexa, she was going from angry to sad to confused in a pace without transition. She shifts to steady herself. Her breathing was heavy. "Just because of a fucking rumor."

"You either are or you're not."

"I don't know." She says desperately, she has a strange feeling in her gut. "I've thought about it. Why does this even matter?" _Please be accepting. Please say you don't care… that you still love me._

"Lexa." Costia was poker faced. It was a mask and Lexa knows it.

"Answer the question, Costia. Why does this matter?"

"It changes everything."

Lexa doesn't expect that. "How does this change anything? I'm still me. See?" She opens her arms wide and she twirls, maintaining her eye contact with Costia. Her hands reaches for Costia's, desperate - thankful when she doesn't pull away. "This is still me, Cos." _Who are you trying to convince?_

"But it's different."

"How is it different? How are things different because I might be gay?"

"It is precisely because you are gay, Lexa." Her arms drop to her side, she feel her heart do the same. Her head is spinning, her legs feel like jelly. She's surprised she hasn't fainted yet. She doesn't know how to respond to that.

"Since when?" Costia says, barely a whisper. Like she's afraid of knowing the answer.

"When what?"

"Since when did you start feeling like you are like this?"

Lexa swallows. "I think... I think I always had a feeling."

"Always, Lexa?! We shared a bed." Costia was gritting her teeth, dragging every syllable. "Multiple times."

"But you're my best friend!" She answers back, exasperatingly. She couldn't make herself believe that this was happening. "It doesn't mean anything."

"So no perverted agendas then?" Her words stung as if Lexa has been slapped. She could love Costia if she wanted to. She wanted to. _Perverted._ She was being reduced to a pervert.

"How dare you." She says, her words seething bitterly. It would have been better to have been given broken glass to eat. Her fists were shaking. She clenches her jaw. Costia was threatening to speak. Lexa fights the urge to stop her.

"We hug a lot, we hold hands, we peck each others' cheeks, we play along with people who think we're actually dating!" _You don't mean that._

"This is crazy." She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. She wonders who she was trying to convince that they were - are - friends. "You're one of my best friends. I like holding your hands because they're soft. I like hugs as much as anyone else. I kiss your cheek because that's what we do and you're… you've _been_ okay with that! I don't even know if I'm gay, Costia! But I'm not straight."

This was the first time she's said it outright and it felt right. She feels lighter, but oddly regretful. She doesn't want to regret this. "I don't want to lose you, Cos."

"I'm sorry."

Lexa doesn't say anything, she couldn't bring herself to say anything that wouldn't make things worse. She takes a step forward and Costia takes two steps back. Lexa's eyes starts brimming with tears. Her breathing is slow and deep. She thinks, _please don't do this_. She thinks, _please say this isn't real_. She thinks, _please say you love me_.

"Cos, please." Lexa pleads, "I can't lose you." _You're my best friend_.

Costia turns away, she was giving up. She was walking away.

Her clenched fists tighten, her nails digging on her skin. She fights the urge to punch something - anything. "So, 4 years down the drain, huh?" She spits, smirking as it makes the other girl stop.

"Lexa." Costia says like a warning before turning back. "Don't do this."

"Me?! You started this. How could you? It's still me, Costia. How could you walk away from me like this. It's like you never cared for me at all."

"Don't say that." Lexa sees the way Costia's arms slump to her side. She hears the pain in her voice.

"It feels that way."

"I did care about you. I loved you."

"Past tense." _It sounds a lot like goodbye._

"I'm sorry, Lexa. I'm… I'm just not comfortable being around you right now."

"Humor me."

"It isn't normal, Lex. _This_ isn't normal."

She allows her tears to fall. She never expected to hear such hatred or disgust from her best friend. Ex-best friend. She takes off her necklace, one part of a heart and shoves it to Costia's palm.

"You're right. This makes all the difference." Lexa says bitterly, she turns around before she wills herself to cry some more. She could hardly believe what just happened. She walks away and doesn't look back, memories of a four-year friendship on her back.

* * *

"What a bitch!" Octavia screams, slapping a palm to her mouth as soon as the word escapes her mouth. She mouths apologies to the people around her and Lexa. She loops her arm around Lexa's and leans on her shoulder and they continue walking home.

Lexa sighs and closes her eyes, she barely stopped crying, "This isn't how I pictured this."

"Pictured what?"

"I don't know." She shrugs, "Figuring it out? Or coming out? Does this count as coming out?"

"But are you sure now?"

"With what?"

"With the gay thing."

"I don't know, O. I mean, I think about it a lot. But I don't think I'm really sure of a title quite yet? Does that make sense?"

"Well, you don't have to label yourself to be something, you just kinda have to allow yourself to be you, right?"

"You are younger than I am, right? Sometimes I forget."

Octavia beams, she knows to take it as a compliment even when her sister says it differently. She pinches her chin in thought, "It doesn't make sense though. I never pegged her as horribly homophobic."

"Costia? Yeah, it surprised me too." Lexa looks at Octavia, she was worried about another rejection but she had to know, "Would you be okay with it? If I was… When I figure it out…"

Octavia stops abruptly and places both her hand on each of Lexa's shoulders. "Lexa, I love you no matter what."

Lexa's eyes starts brimming with tears, Octavia envelopes her into a hug. Firm. Tight. Gentle. She says, "I don't care what you are, what you become, you are my sister and I love you. Okay?"

Lexa gives her a nod, her nose rubbing on the other girl's shirt. She lets her tears fall, thankful for her sister's stable arms. She whispers a quiet, "Okay."

* * *

Lexa is sitting at the edge of Octavia's bed, carefully folding her clothes and placing them neatly into a black suitcase. Octavia was rummaging her closet for her nicest clothes and throwing them towards Lexa for folding and organizing; and for making sure she doesn't forget anything.

Lexa tucks a bag of bangles at the edge of the suitcase, "Is this necessary?"

Octavia peeks from inside her closet and rolls her eyes before answering, "Well, it's different sets for different clothes. They have to match what I wear, you know. I have to look good all the time. Who knows who I might bump into."

"Is this about that Griffin girl again?"

"Please, like you really don't find her attractive? But yes. Good heavens. Imagine if I do meet her."

Lexa chuckles at the scene, her sister gripping on a shirt lovingly, obviously thinking about Clarke Griffin. "I'd really rather not?" She says, wrinkling her nose. "You would embarrass me. I just know it."

She manages to dodge the shirt Octavia threw at her but was unable to dodge the second attack. She lifts a frilly pink panty with her finger and cocks an eyebrow at her sister, "Really?"

Octavia grins widely and replies with a shrug, "It was the closest thing and you deserved it. You're lucky it wasn't used."

"Gross, O!"

"Lexa! Octavia! Dinner." They hear their mother call. Lexa throws Octavia's underwear back at her, the younger girl successfully dodging it, sticking her tongue out in retaliation.

"What are we having?" She asks Octavia.

"Spaghetti and meatballs, I think." Lexa places a palm to her stomach, immediately feeling hunger at the sound of food. She hums, "Spaghetti sounds so good right now. Let's finish this later?"

"O?"

"Yeah?"

"The gay thing, would you mind keeping it a secret? For now?" Lexa looks at her sister, hopeful, "Just… just until I figure it out."

Octavia links their arms, dragging her to the hall. She whispers, "Don't worry. It isn't mine to tell."

"Although." Lexa looks at her eyes wide, softening a little at the other girl's smirk. "I'm offended you'd think I'd tell them. I can keep a secret you know."

"You're a little shit sometimes." Lexa huffs.

"Yeah. But you love me."

"I do, yeah." The Blakes are the only family she's known. Losing Costia to a reason so absurd and ridiculous was terrifying. And yet, it felt like the first loss she'll have. _I can't lose this, too. _

"Lighten up, they love you. Regardless." Lexa smiles at Octavia's words, letting herself relax. A part of her knows it to be true. But a part of her simply hopes that it is.

"Lexa! Octavia!" Their mother calls again. Octavia stays with her, waiting for her to take the first step. Lexa takes a deep breathe and pulls them both down the stairs.

* * *

Lexa walks towards the fridge, pulling out a pitcher of water and setting it on the table. She walks to the cupboard to get a glass. She pours herself a glass before putting back the pitcher in the fridge.

She leans at the counter, glass of water in one hand and her phone on the other. _4 missed calls_ and 3 messages from Anya.

\- 18/12 Thurs -

_**Anya Woods **__8:00 PM  
_What happened?!

_**Anya Woods **__8:05 PM  
_That bitch texted me. Are you okay?

_**Anya Woods **__8:35 PM  
_Text me.

Lexa shakes her head at the term, this is the second time people called Costia a bitch. She wasn't comfortable with it, even when she didn't care much about Costia at that moment.

_ 9:05 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_ Sorry, I needed to help Octavia pack.  
Yes. I am okay.

_**Anya Woods **__9:07 PM  
_I go away for a year and you come out?  
I'm offended.

_9:08 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_There was nothing to tell.  
And I'm not out?

_9:09 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_Yet?

_**Anya Woods **__9:10 PM  
_I knew it.

_9:10 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_Knew?

_**Anya Woods **__9:11 PM  
_Yeah. Takes one to know one.

_9:11 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_WHAT?!

_**Anya Woods **__9:12 PM  
_We'll talk when you get here, alright?

_9:12 PM __**Lexa Blake  
**_Okay. Good night.  
I miss you, A.

_**Anya Woods **__9:13 PM  
_I miss you too, L.

Lexa smiles, looking forward to the trip even more. She slips her phone to her pocket and puts her glass away. She checks the lock on the doors and windows again before retreating to her room.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, I hope you enjoyed that? (This makes me so nervous.) If anyone wants to chat, I am available in Tumblr (misstopak) and Skype (dinmarielee). :D (I welcome all distractions, conversations and whatnots.)


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